My Boy's

So as many of you know I am kind of living the single mom life right now. Jake has been making a huge sacrifice and he has been working out of state for the summer. This has not been easy on any of us. We are making it through but I am not going to say I have liked a single moment of it. I think it is easy to forget how important family is. When you see each other every day you kind of go through the motions. When you are apart you realize what the other does for you. It is dramatic how different life is each day.

The biggest difference this summer has made to our family has been Nathan. He realizes very quickly when his dad leaves. There have been a few difficult fussy and clingy insecure weeks. Usually our mornings begin with Nathan waking up around 6:30 or so wanting to eat. Being a late night person I drag myself into his room and bring him into our bed. There he nurses for a few minutes and then we snuggle in for another hour or so until he wakes up for good. That is when he starts to move around to get our attention. He will jump onto my stomach and make his way over to Jake. There he will begin to slap Jake's face. Some mornings I will take Nathan out and we will play in the living room until dad wakes up. Other mornings dad has been taking him out so I can get a few more minutes. Usually this ends when Nathan gets fuzzy and wants one of us. Then we bring him back onto the bed and wake the other one up. This usually turns into a game where one comes running in with a squealing baby trying to scare the other. The saddest thing in the world is the morning after Jake leaves. Nathan wakes up and notices that his dad isn't in bed with us. He usually looks out the bedroom door expecting Jake to crawl in and attack. When he realizes this isn't going to happen he starts to play with me. But every so often I see him looking over towards the door hoping to see Jake.

Bed time has changed too. This can also be attributed to him teething right now (yes he cut his first tooth this past week:)) He had gotten so good with our nighttime schedule that I would just lay him down in his crib and give him a Binky. He would roll onto his side and call it a night. Now he just fights it. I have had several nights where I am sitting in the living room with an unhappy baby at 10:30. The other night he was so tired but he wouldn't go to bed. I finally put him in his room to cry it out. About 10 minutes later he stopped crying and I went in to check on him. He was asleep but it was the saddest thing in the world. He had fallen asleep sitting up. He was slouched over partially leaning on the side of the crib. He was totally asleep. I moved him onto his back and he didn't even make a peep. This happened again tonight but he had leaned all the way forward with his head leaning forward. I can't believe he sleeps like that. As soon as Jake gets home things seem to get a little easier. He goes down pretty well. I think this kind of stuff will continue as long as all of this change is happening.

I am not writing this for any pity. I recognize we a so blessed. We are so luck to be working and supporting our family. In a year we hope that we will be setteling into a new home in a new town. We have so much to look forward to. I just want you all to know how thankful I am for all of your support. I want Jake to know that I love him so much. I can't wait until he is home for good. I want Nathan to know that even on the worst days I can't imagine my life without him. All of the things I have ever wanted in life have been given to me. I want to thank the Lord for all of these wonderful blessings. Even for the lessons being learned at this time. I know we are stronger for doing this. I know there are others with much bigger problems. I am thankful for my simple and truly happy life. I love my boy's.